~~~The Realm of the Palace Princess~~~

About Me

Read about me ... for those of you who don't already know me!

Links

Crikey
Fisk
The Bladder
Dark Horizons
Oz Pagan
Clitical
So Shoot Me!

Blogs I Read

War Info Links
The PM's Blog
Iron Monkey
AFL Blog
*B.Weaver
Cry Like A Girl
Gawker
Home Blown
Cynical Optimist

What I'm Reading

Life On Air-David Attenborough
A Dagg At My Table-John Clarke

What I'm Listening To

John Mayer-Heavier Things
The Waifs-Up All Night
Dido-Life For Rent

Words of Wisdom

"The spirit is most often free when the body is satiated with pleasure, indeed, sometimes the stars shine more brightly seen from the gutter than from the hilltop"-
W. Somerset Maugham

Classic Songs

Split Screen Sadness...And I don't know where you went when you left me but Says here in the water you must be gone by now I can tell somehow One hand on the trigger of a telephone Wondering when the call comes Where you say it's alright You got your heart right Maybe I'll sleep inside my coat and Wait on the porch 'til you come back home Oh, right I can't find a flight We share the sadness Split screen sadness Two wrongs make it all alright tonight All you need is love is a lie cause We had love but we still said goodbye Now we're tired, battered fighters And it stings when it's nobody's fault Cause there's nothing to blame at the drop of your name It's only the air you took and the breath you left Maybe I'll sleep inside my coat and Wait on the porch 'til you come back home Oh, right I can't find a flight So I'll check the weather wherever you are Cause I wanna know if you can see the stars tonight It might be my only right We share the sadness Split screen sadness I called Because I just Need to feel you on the line Don't hang up this time And I know it was me who called it over but I still wish you'd fought me 'til your dying day Don't let me get away Cause I can't wait to figure out what's wrong with me So I can say this is the way that I used to be There's no substitute for time Or for the sadness Split screen sadness We share the sadness-John Mayer

------------------ First Cut Is The Deepest...I would have given you all of my heart But there's someone who's torn it apart And he's taken just all that I had But if you want I'll try to love again Baby, I'll try to love again but I know The first cut is the deepest Baby I know the first cut is the deepest But when it comes to being lucky he's cursed When it come to loving me he's worst I still want you by my side Just to help me dry the tears that I've cried And I'm sure going to give you a try And if you want I'll try to love again (tryyy) Baby, I'll try to love again but I know The first cut is the deepest Baby I know the first cut is the deepest But when it comes to being lucky he's cursed When it come to loving me he's worst I still want you by my side Just to help me dry the tears that I've cried But I'm sure gonna give you a try 'Cause if you want I'll try to love again (try to love again) Baby, I'll try to love again but I know The first cut is the deepest Baby I know, the first cut is the deepest When it come to being lucky he's cursed When it come to loving me he's worst The first cut is the deepest baby i know The first cut is the deepest try to love again...-Sheryl Crow

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Thursday, February 13, 2003
(2 MEATLOVERS IN VEGIETOWN)
“It tastes like real meat, honestly. You’ll love it!”

Thus spoke our earnest vegetarian dining companion. JJ asked me tag along to a dinner with him and one of his friends ... who's GF just happens to be a vegetarian, and seeing an opportunity to eat food that I didn’t have to cook (can't even remember the last time I cooked a proper meal), I happily obliged. When I asked where we were going, he said, “It’s some vegetarian place where they have stuff that tastes and looks like real meat but it isn’t.” Hmmm!

While the others carefully pondered the menu, JJ and I sniggered at the illustrations. There was a photo of the chef with a big fake grin; his arms spread wide displaying his delightful range of big fake food. There were chicken drumsticks, prawns, spare ribs and even lobster! All carefully moulded into the appropriate shapes from tofu and whatnot.

There was something interesting on the menu called Mocked Chicken. Prepared fresh from their big vat of Mock out the back I suppose. Or as JJ and I suggested, maybe the chef yells at the poor little fake-ass chicken, “Oh you are crap! You’re not a real chicken!” and that gives the dish its mocked goodness.

We let the vegetarian pick the dishes, but had to choose our own entree. I went with the Curry Puffs, nothing in those would need to be imitated. But brave JJ chose the “Chicken” Drumsticks.
And what a bizarre concoction they were. Layer upon layer of something that resembled a bandage wrapped around a paddle pop-stick drumstick. JJ ate very slowly and carefully and smiled very slowly and carefully.

“Isn’t it great!” beamed the vegetarian, “It’s just the real thing, the texture, the skin…”
(… the paddle pop stick!) “Yes!” JJ with alarming conviction. “It really does taste like chicken!”

The mains were interesting. There was Honey “Chicken” and Mongolian “Lamb” and Asam “Fish”. It was even moulded into a fish shape. I expected they’d put a thousand toothpicks inside it to simulate pesky fish bones, but no. It looked quite fishy, but no fish I know wobbles back and forth in spongy fashion when you try to cut it.

The “chicken” was actually alright, except for the way it dissolved in my mouth after one bite. The “lamb” wasn’t very lamby but not too bad. Then they urged us to try the Chili Mushroom dish.
“This one is so wild and hot, you’ll have really wacky dreams tonight. And it’s funny, the mushrooms taste more like beef than mushrooms.” Eeeewwwww, it was like a mouthful of shoe. Hot chili shoe. Why did they feel the need to fake a mushroom? What’s wrong with a real mushroom?

Overall it was a bloody disgusting experience that only reinforced my belief that humans are meant to eat real fucking meat ... OK!

When it was all over and we were back in the car, I asked JJ how did he like his drumsticks.
JJ: “They were fucking disgusting!“
Me: “Oh! Thank god!”
Me: “What about that bit where they said ...... I bet you could put this food in front of a meat eater and they wouldn’t know the difference!”
JJ: “Ha! Yes! If it wasn’t for the paddle pop stick, I wouldn’t have known!”

So we fled to the KFC to cleanse our palettes. I feel much better today, but I think I am all Mocked out for the rest of my life.

UPDATED THE LINKS
xxx

posted by The Princess 1:22 PM



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Devoted to Viggo
Second Opinion.. The glow inside another red-crossed pelvis will drain when they crush that little bulb. Menstrual minstrels drift in from the weedless garden. The immaculate blue flame from the fake fireplace burns in the corner of my eye. Can't stop staring at nothing. A gloved hand opens the door, and the man enters soothingly, with an air of respect for the dead. Encourages us to look on the bright side. Black pants hide your pain afterwards, and there's a cookie on a napkin and a paper cup of red juice to replace your strength. We drive home without blinking because the sun isn't real .. . -Viggo Mortensen

Song
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