~~~The Realm of the Palace Princess~~~

About Me

Read about me ... for those of you who don't already know me!

Links

Crikey
Fisk
The Bladder
Dark Horizons
Oz Pagan
Clitical
So Shoot Me!

Blogs I Read

War Info Links
The PM's Blog
Iron Monkey
AFL Blog
*B.Weaver
Cry Like A Girl
Gawker
Home Blown
Cynical Optimist

What I'm Reading

Life On Air-David Attenborough
A Dagg At My Table-John Clarke

What I'm Listening To

John Mayer-Heavier Things
The Waifs-Up All Night
Dido-Life For Rent

Words of Wisdom

"The spirit is most often free when the body is satiated with pleasure, indeed, sometimes the stars shine more brightly seen from the gutter than from the hilltop"-
W. Somerset Maugham

Classic Songs

Split Screen Sadness...And I don't know where you went when you left me but Says here in the water you must be gone by now I can tell somehow One hand on the trigger of a telephone Wondering when the call comes Where you say it's alright You got your heart right Maybe I'll sleep inside my coat and Wait on the porch 'til you come back home Oh, right I can't find a flight We share the sadness Split screen sadness Two wrongs make it all alright tonight All you need is love is a lie cause We had love but we still said goodbye Now we're tired, battered fighters And it stings when it's nobody's fault Cause there's nothing to blame at the drop of your name It's only the air you took and the breath you left Maybe I'll sleep inside my coat and Wait on the porch 'til you come back home Oh, right I can't find a flight So I'll check the weather wherever you are Cause I wanna know if you can see the stars tonight It might be my only right We share the sadness Split screen sadness I called Because I just Need to feel you on the line Don't hang up this time And I know it was me who called it over but I still wish you'd fought me 'til your dying day Don't let me get away Cause I can't wait to figure out what's wrong with me So I can say this is the way that I used to be There's no substitute for time Or for the sadness Split screen sadness We share the sadness-John Mayer

------------------ First Cut Is The Deepest...I would have given you all of my heart But there's someone who's torn it apart And he's taken just all that I had But if you want I'll try to love again Baby, I'll try to love again but I know The first cut is the deepest Baby I know the first cut is the deepest But when it comes to being lucky he's cursed When it come to loving me he's worst I still want you by my side Just to help me dry the tears that I've cried And I'm sure going to give you a try And if you want I'll try to love again (tryyy) Baby, I'll try to love again but I know The first cut is the deepest Baby I know the first cut is the deepest But when it comes to being lucky he's cursed When it come to loving me he's worst I still want you by my side Just to help me dry the tears that I've cried But I'm sure gonna give you a try 'Cause if you want I'll try to love again (try to love again) Baby, I'll try to love again but I know The first cut is the deepest Baby I know, the first cut is the deepest When it come to being lucky he's cursed When it come to loving me he's worst The first cut is the deepest baby i know The first cut is the deepest try to love again...-Sheryl Crow

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Saturday, February 08, 2003
(THE SINS OF THE FATHER)
I should start off by saying my driver's licence expired the 4th of Feb and I kinda forgot to renew it, no dramas though ... I will do it first thing Monday morning. But today, going against my better judgment (HA! ...) I drove Father to Devonport. Mother Dearest has the bat car in Devonport visiting my aunt, and Father refuses to drive her car ... so it was all down to me.

Now I don’t endorse driving like a maniac, but today I drove like one - Father encouraged me though .. he's such a bad influence on me. It usually takes almost 1.5 hours to drive to Devonport but it only took 1hr 5 min today. It was because of this goddamn Kia Sportage, the name shits me for starters. Car names are getting more ridiculous by the year. They must be running out of names. Anyway, the green beast came looming up our arse just outside Launceston and followed us all the way.

Nothing annoys me more than a jerk in a 4WD that insists on intimidating smaller vehicles, so I kept my foot down and stayed way ahead of him. On the Bass Highway it’s 100 but I maintained a steady 120 to leave him in the dust. It wasn't to be though .... and it wasn't long before I looked up, there he was, so close I could see his huge dorky glasses and bad haircut. He looked like an accountant (you know the type). All the more reason not to let him overtake me. I was taking things pretty casual at this stage ... chatting away to Father about the fate of the poor Iraqi children and how one might arrange a "hit" on Georgie boy, all was very cruisy til we were right on a bend and he (Mr Sportage) decides he can pass me. But when he moves out I hit the floor and head off over the hill. It was hilarious, I actually laughed out loud ... and while Father was somewhat shocked he still managed a few words of encouragement ... something along the lines of "yes, make sure the impatient bastard doesn't get passed us ah". Anyway, I was pulling away from him for a while, and then he catches up to me and looms so close I can see the blonde in the passenger seat drinking Diet Pepsi. He stupidly moves out again when a truck comes flying along so he has to quickly go back in again. Idiot!
Next there’s some road works and we have to stop for a good ten minutes. He’s drumming his fingers on the steering wheel and frowning. The lollipop guy tells us there’ll be a delay and we say no worries, mate and have a good chat while Mr Sportage actually moves out into the other lane to see what’s holding up the traffic. Wanker!

When we finally move off, everyone waves to the lollipop guy, or at least raises a waving finger on the steering wheel, but nooooo, not Mr Sportage! With that lack of respect for our hard-working council workers, there was no way he was gonna overtake me. There was an overtaking lane ahead; it was his only clear chance to get me!

So I slowed back down to 100 to lull his smug arse into a false sense of security. Just when the lane came up and he indicated to move into it, Father (showing his competitive spirit) screamed, “GO! GO! GO!” and me not being one to disobey Father when he's yelling real loud, we sped off again. We’d foiled him for a third time. Seeing his indignant little face fade into the distance was a rush bigger than a dozen orgasms. Well, not really but it was good!

He tried to get back up to me and the speeds were getting ridiculous. But later we got stuck behind a slow truck with a horse and Mr Sportage caught up with me. Behind him was a Toyota Celica, fiery red and equally impatient. It was too unsafe to overtake, but Sportage did it anyway. He somehow got around me and the truck and missed an oncoming car by a whisker. It was ridiculous. Where’s a cop when you need one?

But here’s the kicker: as they went around us, Diet Pepsi Blonde actually turned around and made furious very rude hand gestures at us! That silly wench! That infuriating accountant! This was war now! I was kinda prepared to let it go ... but nooooo, Father wouldn't hear of it, no one was gonna get the better of his little girl, and for the first time in years I felt like a little kid getting a pep talk..... scary stuff! I'm not sure what was troubling me more, the excessive speeds my car was reaching or the aggressive encouragement I was receiving from Father.

The Celica and me eventually got round the truck, and Sportage wasn’t too far away. The Celica had to carry the torch, because flushed with adrenaline as I was, the speedo was tickling numbers I never thought possible before, and I really couldn't afford to be attracting the attention of speed cameras as I DON'T CURRENTLY HAVE A LICENCE! So it was all up to the Celica, and it did a stellar job of tailing Mr Sportage and pissing him off before eventually overtaking. Ahh, it was fab.

Mr Sportage seemed to run out of puff after that, and by comparison put-putted the last 15 minutes before Devonport. We were finally able to catch up to him. I noticed he had this shoddy advertisement on the back of the vehicle, on the spare tyre cover. It said XXX XXX Data Back-Up and a mobile phone number. Sweeeeeeet. So he wasn’t an accountant, but Data Backup Geek was just as appropriate for such a tosser.

I convinced father to get out his phone and give him a call while we sneaked up behind him again and say:

“Hello? Is this XXX XXX Data Back-Up? Guess what pal? I’M BACK UP YOUR DATE!”

But alas… they turned into the McDonalds before he could dial. Damn!

It was then I returned to my usual rational, safe-driving self. I dropped Father off and the drive back was quiet, slow and boring and a thousand insects kamikazied into the windscreen. It’s now so thick with tiny broken legs and wings it looks like the glass is shattered. And I’d only washed the car this morning.

On a slightly different note, I'm somewhat disappointed by comments I received via email today about me posting a sappy love song in the "Classic Songs" section, you know who you are, and I won't be naming names, but I will say - HELLO! It's almost Valentine's Day ppl ... where is your sense of romance? Huh?
xxx

posted by The Princess 7:39 PM



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Devoted to Viggo
Second Opinion.. The glow inside another red-crossed pelvis will drain when they crush that little bulb. Menstrual minstrels drift in from the weedless garden. The immaculate blue flame from the fake fireplace burns in the corner of my eye. Can't stop staring at nothing. A gloved hand opens the door, and the man enters soothingly, with an air of respect for the dead. Encourages us to look on the bright side. Black pants hide your pain afterwards, and there's a cookie on a napkin and a paper cup of red juice to replace your strength. We drive home without blinking because the sun isn't real .. . -Viggo Mortensen

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