~~~The Realm of the Palace Princess~~~

About Me

Read about me ... for those of you who don't already know me!


The Bladder
Dark Horizons
Oz Pagan
So Shoot Me!

Blogs I Read

War Info Links
The PM's Blog
Iron Monkey
AFL Blog
Cry Like A Girl
Home Blown
Cynical Optimist

What I'm Reading

Life On Air-David Attenborough
A Dagg At My Table-John Clarke

What I'm Listening To

John Mayer-Heavier Things
The Waifs-Up All Night
Dido-Life For Rent

Words of Wisdom

"The spirit is most often free when the body is satiated with pleasure, indeed, sometimes the stars shine more brightly seen from the gutter than from the hilltop"-
W. Somerset Maugham

Classic Songs

Split Screen Sadness...And I don't know where you went when you left me but Says here in the water you must be gone by now I can tell somehow One hand on the trigger of a telephone Wondering when the call comes Where you say it's alright You got your heart right Maybe I'll sleep inside my coat and Wait on the porch 'til you come back home Oh, right I can't find a flight We share the sadness Split screen sadness Two wrongs make it all alright tonight All you need is love is a lie cause We had love but we still said goodbye Now we're tired, battered fighters And it stings when it's nobody's fault Cause there's nothing to blame at the drop of your name It's only the air you took and the breath you left Maybe I'll sleep inside my coat and Wait on the porch 'til you come back home Oh, right I can't find a flight So I'll check the weather wherever you are Cause I wanna know if you can see the stars tonight It might be my only right We share the sadness Split screen sadness I called Because I just Need to feel you on the line Don't hang up this time And I know it was me who called it over but I still wish you'd fought me 'til your dying day Don't let me get away Cause I can't wait to figure out what's wrong with me So I can say this is the way that I used to be There's no substitute for time Or for the sadness Split screen sadness We share the sadness-John Mayer

------------------ First Cut Is The Deepest...I would have given you all of my heart But there's someone who's torn it apart And he's taken just all that I had But if you want I'll try to love again Baby, I'll try to love again but I know The first cut is the deepest Baby I know the first cut is the deepest But when it comes to being lucky he's cursed When it come to loving me he's worst I still want you by my side Just to help me dry the tears that I've cried And I'm sure going to give you a try And if you want I'll try to love again (tryyy) Baby, I'll try to love again but I know The first cut is the deepest Baby I know the first cut is the deepest But when it comes to being lucky he's cursed When it come to loving me he's worst I still want you by my side Just to help me dry the tears that I've cried But I'm sure gonna give you a try 'Cause if you want I'll try to love again (try to love again) Baby, I'll try to love again but I know The first cut is the deepest Baby I know, the first cut is the deepest When it come to being lucky he's cursed When it come to loving me he's worst The first cut is the deepest baby i know The first cut is the deepest try to love again...-Sheryl Crow

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Sunday, May 25, 2003


Does absence really make the heart grow fonder ... or does it just mean that when you're drunk you pick up the phone at 3am and call people you shouldn't call, and say things you shouldn't say?

Now if you've read the "about me" link from my blog you'll notice that I make reference to the fact that I'm not always politically correct ... so keep that in mind as I draw your attention to a rather amusing blog.
The Tard Blog is well worth a look and comes highly recommended from a fellow blogger. However, if you are lacking in a sense of humour then I'd suggest you give it a miss.
posted by The Princess 7:28 PM
Tuesday, May 20, 2003
It seems my blog has a theme today ... BENS. I've updated the links,songs etc and made a special dedication to Ben Harper, and as you can see below ... more BENS, that is Kweller, Folds and Lee.

~The Bens - Just Pretend~
While I held you with our undry eyes Happy years pass by It's OK to cry After all In the end Just pretend Well it's sticks and stones and broken homes that taught us how to smile After all In the end Just pretend There's a name that plays in my head like a song all day long she's with me every day After all In the end Just pretend Everyone needs Everyone needs Everyone needs If the sun can't shine you'll be just fine look into your mind where you're free After all In the end Just pretend Cause we hurt each other once before lets not do that again After all In the end Just pretend And a voice so familiar wakes me up in the middle if she thinks I'm having a bad dream After all In the end Just pretend Everyone needs Everyone needs Everyone needs After all It's the end

posted by The Princess 11:24 AM
Monday, May 19, 2003

Rainy days, erotica, magic, warm hands on cold skin, silence, intelligent conversation, stuffed olives, the blue dolphin, Scooby Doo cartoons, pashing fab men, the smell of the ocean, chocolate, nakedness, the sound of John Mayer's voice, porn, mangoes, phone calls at 2am, football, Salvador Dali anything, adultshop.com.au, Le Fournil Du Yorktown's creme caramels, the kama sutra, any Viggo Mortensen film, full body massages, sleeping in, margaritas, having the last word.

posted by The Princess 6:28 PM
Saturday, May 17, 2003
*The Words Of Rell*

Now this was submitted by someone I've never encountered b4 .. but it kinda interesred me, so I've posted it. So Rell, who ever you are .. thanks.

If the condom breaks, but you haven't had your period in five months, do the two cancel each other out?

If you've got food poisoning, and you can't really hold down solid foods, and you have intense abdominal cramping, is sex really a good idea?

If you're tired, and you haven't slept well due to the heat, the rain, and the stomach pain, is it a good idea to yell "Fuck" at your parents when they break down your door for your car keys?

If you're restless because you're doubled over in the fetal position, and it's 2 am, and someone sends you a text message saying "Sweet Dreams", do you sleep better?

posted by The Princess 5:51 PM
Thursday, May 15, 2003
*Iron Monkey Takes The Stage*


Like a reduction sauce of words, a headline gives us a condensed, thickened, concentrated glimpse into a world beyond our daily routine. And yet a headline like
Badger Rampage Injures Five does more: it changes our whole notion of what that world might contain.

I rejoiced at that headline, if only because it lifts my screenplay, Claws of Fury: Night of the Badger, one small bit closer to the glory of the silver screen. "Unrealistic," they said in narrow-minded Hollywood. Think Jaws mixed with the first Alien movie, but with a badger, and Elisabeth Rohm in the lead. "As the badger?" they asked. Morons! But I digress . .

A headline like this opens us up to new possibilities. Walking home late at night, we might now nervously sniff the air, hoping not to catch the scent of badger in the breeze. We might become suspicious of all badgers, even those we have known for many years. At some level, the headline leads us to question what other completely silly sounding dangers may be all too terrifyingly real.

I knew when I read the badger story that it could not have been written in the U.S., because in the U.S. the badger attack would have instantly been linked to terrorism and al-Qaeda. "Gentlemen," the briefing would begin, "these satellite images [insert blurry black and white photo] show a location which, according to unconfirmed sources, is in active use as a badger training camp." [Gasps from
the audience.] "These badgers, using tooth and claw and perhaps more advanced weapons obtained on the black market, prepare terror attacks against the U.S. and its allies. Not all badgers have converted to militant fundamentalist Islam, and in fact many are still Protestants, but the number of badger extremists is growing day by day . . ."

Today's badger threat level: Yellow.

(Author's note: Realm of the Palace Princess is one of my favorite blogs, though I live in Oregon and have never met its author. I couldn't pass up a chance to write a guest post here. -- Iron Monkey)

posted by The Princess 11:34 AM
Tuesday, May 13, 2003
Call me lazy (cos lord knows, that's what I am) but I've come up with what I consider to be a damn good idea. I'm sure my regular readers are a little tired of my near to non-existent ramblings of late, so I'm inviting you all to write a guest piece for my blog.

Now, there are no rules, no taboo subjects and everyone is welcome to contribute ... however, if what you write is really shit, then it isn't gonna appear on my blog - simple!

I look forward to receiving an inbox full of fabulous words to share with the world.

posted by The Princess 8:40 PM
Monday, May 12, 2003

Here fishy fishy!

For those of you who may be loyal readers (yes I am talking about my poor, long suffering close friends and family members) you might remember a few months ago I mentioned how my father kindly built a fishpond in my backyard. As u can see in the picture above ... it looks remarkably like a crypt, only minus a lid and the obligatory dead body.

Anyway, the significance of posting the picture of my fab fishpond is to give an illustration to my story about the neighbours cat.

The afternoon was warm .. and my new co-worker Matthew, and I were sitting out by my fishpond soaking up the tranquil surroundings and good company... and just as I swear I could hear Michael Caton uttering "how's the serenity" the scrawny, flee-infested cat from next door, put its head over my 8 foot high fence, clawed its way to the top ... then launched itself from the fence, into the pond.

Now, I know cats are hardly intelligent ...but HELLO!! ... when did they become so fucking stupid? And I thought the evil little things were supposed to hate water? Anyway, Matthew and I just sat there ... cab savs in hand, mouths open, and staring in utter disbelief at the soggy cat scrambling around my crypt-like fishpond.

I'm not sure if the worrying part was that neither of us jumped to our feet and walked the 3 metres to rescue the cat, or that the cat seemed more interested in dining on my bloody fish than rescuing itself.

It did eventually drag itself out, but not without terrifying my fish. However, they are fish ... they're supposed to be hunted (the law of the umm... ocean and all) and I'd hate to think they were getting too comfortable in my pond.

Plus, the flying cat bit certainly gave us a damn good laugh... it would've been well worth losing a few fish for!

15 generic goldfish .... $45 ....flying, drowning, flailing cat .... priceless!

BTW - I've changed my email address. The "c" now has a "k"

*Iron Monkey ... hope you mend real soon! Glad to see you're back blogging on a regular basis.*

posted by The Princess 6:22 PM
Saturday, May 10, 2003

I love butterflies! ... Aren't they beautiful?

posted by The Princess 2:02 PM
Friday, May 09, 2003


posted by The Princess 11:55 AM
Monday, May 05, 2003
Mirror, mirror on the ceiling,
from which angle am I most appealing?
Seductively laid out upon this bed,
locks of gold framing my head,
doe-eyed, pouty, with butterscotch lips,
body naked, with light gliding over my hips?
Perhaps I am best while up on all fours,
taut-muscled buttocks, tightened, bucking for more-
winter white flesh ripened pink in heat
contrasting, contracting, sensual and sweet.
But down on the floor, at the bedside kneeling,
in front of his feet I may be most appealing.
Ruby red lips, tender tepid moist tongue
celebrating manhood and the way he is hung.
Mirror, mirror on my ceiling ...
from which angle am I most appealing?


posted by The Princess 3:40 PM
Friday, May 02, 2003

Phillip Ruddock - Humanitarian of the year


posted by The Princess 9:22 PM


Devoted to Viggo
Second Opinion.. The glow inside another red-crossed pelvis will drain when they crush that little bulb. Menstrual minstrels drift in from the weedless garden. The immaculate blue flame from the fake fireplace burns in the corner of my eye. Can't stop staring at nothing. A gloved hand opens the door, and the man enters soothingly, with an air of respect for the dead. Encourages us to look on the bright side. Black pants hide your pain afterwards, and there's a cookie on a napkin and a paper cup of red juice to replace your strength. We drive home without blinking because the sun isn't real .. . -Viggo Mortensen


Go here if you've arrived at my blog after searching for song lyrics. All the song lyrics I've ever posted on this blog can now be found by following the link above

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