"The spirit is most often free when the body is satiated with pleasure, indeed, sometimes the stars shine more brightly seen from the gutter than from the hilltop"-
W. Somerset Maugham
Split Screen Sadness...And I don't know where you went when you left me but Says here in the water you must be gone by now I can tell somehow One hand on the trigger of a telephone Wondering when the call comes Where you say it's alright You got your heart right Maybe I'll sleep inside my coat and Wait on the porch 'til you come back home Oh, right I can't find a flight We share the sadness Split screen sadness Two wrongs make it all alright tonight All you need is love is a lie cause We had love but we still said goodbye Now we're tired, battered fighters And it stings when it's nobody's fault Cause there's nothing to blame at the drop of your name It's only the air you took and the breath you left Maybe I'll sleep inside my coat and Wait on the porch 'til you come back home Oh, right I can't find a flight So I'll check the weather wherever you are Cause I wanna know if you can see the stars tonight It might be my only right We share the sadness Split screen sadness I called Because I just Need to feel you on the line Don't hang up this time And I know it was me who called it over but I still wish you'd fought me 'til your dying day Don't let me get away Cause I can't wait to figure out what's wrong with me So I can say this is the way that I used to be There's no substitute for time Or for the sadness Split screen sadness We share the sadness-John Mayer ------------------
First Cut Is The Deepest...I would have given you all of my heart But there's someone who's torn it apart And he's taken just all that I had But if you want I'll try to love again Baby, I'll try to love again but I know The first cut is the deepest Baby I know the first cut is the deepest But when it comes to being lucky he's cursed When it come to loving me he's worst I still want you by my side Just to help me dry the tears that I've cried And I'm sure going to give you a try And if you want I'll try to love again (tryyy) Baby, I'll try to love again but I know The first cut is the deepest Baby I know the first cut is the deepest But when it comes to being lucky he's cursed When it come to loving me he's worst I still want you by my side Just to help me dry the tears that I've cried But I'm sure gonna give you a try 'Cause if you want I'll try to love again (try to love again) Baby, I'll try to love again but I know The first cut is the deepest Baby I know, the first cut is the deepest When it come to being lucky he's cursed When it come to loving me he's worst The first cut is the deepest baby i know The first cut is the deepest try to love again...-Sheryl Crow
On another completely different topic, for those of you who may have visited my blog in the last few days, you will notice it is now back to normal. No big spaces ... weird happenings etc, and for that I must say a huuuge 'thank you' to the wonderful, glorious, geeky, and thoroughly devious bad, bad, BAD boy (he made me say that) who managed to restore things for me. Much appreciated.
Last week I promised I would give you all an update on what has been happening in my life recently. Now, for those of you who are expecting me to entertain you with stories of fascinating happenings, or of wild times and fun-filled adventures ... I'm afraid you may be left feeling somewhat disappointed.
A couple of months ago I started a new job. Some of you already know this ... but very few people actually know what I do or where I go to work. And as much as I'd like to regale you with a highly detailed account of the day-to-day nature of my job, the fact that I live in a small place where everyone knows everyone else, the fact that my job is of a fairly confidential nature, and the fact that I work with people who could at times be classed as ... "risky" means I'd much rather retain the air of mystery that is currently surrounding my job.
However, I can say that my job is 45 minutes drive from my home .. the building I work in is "secure"... I'm employed by the State Government ... I'm expected to work any hours of the day and night, 7 days a week ... the job can be rewarding, but it is hardly a pleasant environment ... I now have no life ... I now have a whole new bunch of friends ... I now have a very valid reason to drink ridiculous amounts of alcohol on a regular basis ... and I now see how fucked up our society has become.
But, I've been surprised how much I actually enjoy my job. I was offered the position on a permanent basis, and if I wasn't moving to Melbourne at the end of the year I may well have taken it up. I'm not sure that I'll make too much difference, or that the work I'm doing will have any lasting results ... but when I got to work and see my ideas being put into place (with successful results) it kinda reminds me what I'm there for.
Now, my personal life ...well, what can I say? Not a lot really ... I mean yeah, I could say a lot, I could tell you how I've been having a fulfilling love affair with a fabulous guy who cooks and writes me poetry (oh god .. how sappy), and I could tell you about all the glorious dinner parties I've been to, and how much quality time I've been spending with my friends - but it'd all be lies lies lies!
When I'm not at work, I'm working at home, or sleeping, or driving to work, or churning out thoroughly detailed and amusing blog post for you all to read (ok, so more lies) or eating, or getting ready to go to work. I never actually know (more than 5 days in advance) the hours that I have to work, so planning anything is next to impossible. I've only been to Melbourne once in the last couple of months ... and it's driving me insane. BUT, in 3 weeks and 14 hrs I will be on a plane, on my way to spend 13 luscious days in Melbourne, and I won't be working ... not one single moment!
I know you're all feeling dreadfully sorry for me, and so you damn well should be too! Your well wishes are greatly appreciated. I expect an inbox full of sympathetic emails anytime soon!
Unfortunately those few paragraphs pretty much sum up my life during the last few months. And now you're sitting there wishing my post could have been more entertaining, well HELLO! ... I'm sitting here wishing my fucking life had been more entertaining! Anyway, things could be worse ... John Howard could be running the country, Essendon could be 11th on the AFL ladder and I could be expected to attend a funeral tomorrow ... I guess I should be grateful ah.
Oh, and thanks to Scott M who writes the brilliant stuff at Pedantry ... you made me blush!
Second Opinion.. The glow inside another red-crossed pelvis will drain when they crush that little bulb. Menstrual minstrels drift in from the weedless garden. The immaculate blue flame from the fake fireplace burns in the corner of my eye. Can't stop staring at nothing. A gloved hand opens the door, and the man enters soothingly, with an air of respect for the dead. Encourages us to look on the bright side. Black pants hide your pain afterwards, and there's a cookie on a napkin and a paper cup of red juice to replace your strength. We drive home without blinking because the sun isn't real .. .
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